Something ridiculous
by Powers -s- Overwhelming
Summary: WARNING: This story gets increasingly wierder. Proceed with your own caution. Side effects may include: Explosive laughter, constant ridiculousness, and even death. We are not responsible for said effects. For silverwolf's DOD challenge, day 3.


**A/N: Yeah... Uh sorry to the dude/det who made the contest for not entering the other days, but I know most of you have heard this exuse.**

**I was busy with school.**

**Now please don't kill me! AAH! My arm! I need my arm - *RIIIPP* AHHHHHHHH!**

**Onwards.**

**(P. , it's the third day for me.)**

**(P.S.S. Haven't read DOD yet...)**

**(P.S.S.S. Hey look how many S's there are!)**

**Archon: We need focus...**

**Fine. Here's the story.**

* * *

The man sat at his desk, silently doing paperwork. It was satisfying signing contracts and writing death warrants. He enjoyed that for some sadistical reason. He also enjoyed being the man whose secret identity was never revealed.

Sighing, he reached for his glass of wine. The main branch of Vespers had fallen, but he had taken shelter far away. Hopefully safely away, too. He could rebuild their once glorious wealth, but for now, he would have to stay in the shadows, hiring mercenaries, and hoping he could earn enough money to start recruiting again. Hopefully those pesky Cahills won't bother him.

He was in a small office cubicle, one that someone would normally find in an office building, but his was in a underground bunker designed to withstand a nuclear bomb. The stronghold was never included in the plans since it was so new, so he would be safe. He secretly wished that the stronghold was much bigger. Maybe with 622 corridors? That'd be pretty big.

A large explosion shook the office. The man looked around. It would've been nice to have henchmen or something to alert him of intruders. Maybe even an alarm.

Suddenly an alarm sounded. Confused, the man realized there wasn't an alarm system in the bunker. Why was there one sounding?

Yelling was heard in the corridors. Something in his brain told him they were his henchmen. But he didn't have any underlings...

Standing up, he opened his door and peeked his head out. Men (henchmen?!) were running around with radios and security equipment. One of them stopped in front of the man.

"Sir, there has been a breach in corridor 622. An unknown hostile -" he said, panting.

"What?!" the man shouted. He was more confused why he had henchmen and 622 corridors to register what the man was saying.

Suddenly, gunshots were heard. The constant _tut-tut-tut_ of an automatic resounded around the walls.

The radio on the security officer's jeans that were strapped their sounded to life.

_"Sir! Theres too many of them! We can't -_" his voice was cut off by a disturbing sound, which sounded like squeel of a young piglet, followed by the body of the man falling to the floor.

The man, who should now be known as Vesper One the Second, took off at an alarming speed. He needed to get out. Now. He would have to escape from the bunker. He wished there was an elevator...

An elavator appeared on his left. He swore that wall was blank before...

Without thinking, he jumped in and pressed the nearest button, which happened to be labeled _Escape_. The elavator started moving down.

The elavator started playing some late 80's music, something which Vepser One the Second personally liked. He wondered what the _Escape _button would take him. Maybe in an underground tunnel that could go up to the surface? Or maybe some futuristic landing bay from the future...

After about 10 seconds, the doors dinged open and he saw he was in some futuristic landing bay or something. Outside some giant futuristic windows, he could see space (_What?!_). He stopped.

Why. Was he. In space.

Also, he had went down a couple of floors, so why was he on the roof? Must be a paradox. Nothing made sense now.

_What have I been smoking?_ he thought to himself.

Another set of doors materialized next to the elavator he just went through. Inside was the most terrifying group of creatures he had ever seen.

They had pale skin, as if they had never heard of the word _outside, _makeup on every section of their face, painted fingernails, and worst of all... A pen and a notebook.

_"EEEEEK!_ I'm like, your biggest fan and like I want -"

"_He's real! EEEK! IM SO EXCITED! _I'm so excited that I think I'm going to pass out -"

"No! I'm his biggest fan!"

"EEEEEEEE! I wuv u!"

"Y U NU REPSON TO MAH MAEL! WAI?!"

And their grammer got worse and worse. Soon he was hearing ":D :D :D" which was probably not possible, and "MARRY MEH!"

He had only heard of such horridness on a website he accidently clicked on. Fangirls.

Inside his mind, he was terrified. And nothing terrified terrified Vesper One the Second.

But also, he remembered reading about some wierd scientific article that Vesper Four had made him read. It was about entering a reality where for everything good you wished for, something bad and unintentional would be wished with it. If this was true, then the explosion he had heard was caused by this dimension entering the dream dimension... Wow he sounded like a nerd.

But for now, he had bigger problem to deal with. He hoped that just one small wish wouldn't cause anything worse.

A semiautomatic appeared in his hand. Smiling, he rained lead into the crowd, but still, it appeared to have no effect.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEK! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVA! HE'S REALLY SHOOTING ME! I WUV U SO MACH!"

Quickly, wishing for a way out, a squad of riot shield men appeared, shielding him from the beasts. A jet appeared and he climbed on it.

Hopefully this would save him. The jet's pilot revved up the jet engine (how was that possible?!) and it flew away with little pixelated cartoon smoke coming from the back. With other things to worry about, he didn't seem to notice them.

Would it ever end?

The pilot turned around.

"CAN I HAZ UR ATOGRAF?!"

Screaming, he woke up on at his desk.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so definately keeping this fanfic.**

**Hope I win! :D**

**-Powers(ss)**


End file.
